My Top 10 Live Shows

concert Back in the day when money wasn’t funny, and change wasn’t strange, this sista used to live for going to concerts. There’s nothing like seeing your favorite singer, or band live. Here’s a list of my most memorable shows.

10. Toni Braxton: Revealed at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas. Friday August 18, 2006.- This show was special because it took place in Vegas on my twenty-sixth birthday. My best bud shared the experience with me and we had a hella good time. The seats were fucking amazing! Damon (best bud) was able to rest his arm on the stage. That’s how boss the seats were!! I’d never seen Toni live and I was extra excited. I had admired Toni since the seventh grade. She performed her ass off! The woman seduced the audience and made us hers. People tend to forget how incredibly talented Toni is. Seeing her live was a real treat. The best part was when Damon told her that he loved her, and Toni mouthed back that she loved him too! Damn, that was such an amazing way to celebrate a birthday.

9. Deftones: Diamond Eyes Tour at Verizon Theatre. Monday June 6, 2011.- This was my first time witnessing the pure bossness of Deftones. They killed it! They’re a freaking fantastic band live! Those mofos pierced my soul with their music that night. I loved that the Tones performed all my fav jams. I had a blast singing with Chino, and the crowd. Dillinger Escape Plan was the opening act, and I fell in love with them that night. Deftones are coming here to Dallas soon. My heart is broken that I can’t see them.

8. Stone Temple Pilots: Reunion Tour at Verizon Theatre. Sunday June 29, 2008.- STP will go down in history as one of the most influential bands of all time. Their music provided the soundtrack for many of us. You couldn’t turn on the radio back in the day without hearing “Creep”, “Big Empty”, or “Plush”. I was so freaking happy to score tickets to the reunion show. STP was a band I discovered in the magical year (for me) of 1994. Seeing them live had me pretty emotional. Scott Weiland (Lord bless him) was a beast on stage! He was clean, sober, and ready to rock! His voice was so pure and beautiful live. That man has sung me to sleep on many nights. Dean, Robert, and Eric (guitarist, bassist, and drummer) were just magical. Those mofos are unbelievably talented; every note was on freaking point. I’m thankful I was able to see them.

7. Queensryche: An Evening With Queensryche Tour at Verizon Theatre. Friday. October 15, 2004.- Seeing Queensryche left me speechless because I was just in awe of their legendary talent. I had really gotten into them about two years prior to seeing them. I’m not even going to lie… I was wondering if Geoff Tate could still hit those high notes. Geoff hit those notes and shut the venue down!!!

6. Jill Scott: The Real Thing Tour at Verizon Theatre. Tuesday February 19, 2008.- Jill’s talent can’t be denied. The woman is phenomenal, for realz. Seeing her in concert was totally exciting for me. Jilly from Philly can sing her ass-and other body parts, off! The vibe of her show was very chill, and welcoming. I felt like I was hanging out with a bunch of homies, and jamming. I got high off her music that night. I was moving and swaying like a damn hippie at Woodstock! When Jill performed “My Love” my dramatic behind was about to cry. I was really feeling those lyrics that night. Do yourself a favor and see Jill when she comes to your neck of the woods.

5. Nine Inch Nails: Fragility V 2.0 Tour at the (then) Starplex Amphitheatre. Tuesday March 23, 2000.- Damn, I miss being nineteen! I was introduced to NIN at age thirteen, and I damn near broke down when my bud bought me a ticket to see them. This was my first ever concert! Of course I wasn’t disappointed and loved every second of the experience!! Trent did his thing and it was epic. Being in attendance was one of the coolest moments of my life. Singing the lyrics to “Closer” with thousands of other fans was freaking surreal.

4. Janet Jackson: All For You Tour at American Airlines Center. Saturday September 22, 2001.- Janet Jackson is the queen of everything! No one can touch that bad ass, one woman wrecking machine. Janet performs like she’s not even of this Earth. Janet’s from Mars and that’s why she’s bossome. She’s otherworldly. Anyhoo, this was a show that almost didn’t happen. Eleven days earlier was the tragedy that was September 11th. I was nervous that the show would have been postponed. The show went on, and it was everything that I hoped it would be! A major emotional moment came courtesy of a fan waving a little American flag. The moment was caught on camera/big screen, and everyone cheered. Best moment of the show was seeing Janet dance her ass off during the infamous breakdown to “If”. I was fucking done!

3. Prince: Musicology Tour at American Airlines Center. Friday April 2, 2004.- Prince is an explosive force that we should be thanking God for daily. He’s so talented and such a prolific individual. I’ve been a Prince fan since forever due to my dad’s influence. He was the ultimate Prince fan! Daddy even saw Prince open for The Stones way back in the day! Seeing Prince in concert was like a blessing realized; a moment in time I’ll never forget. He was just inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, a few months earlier which made the concert extra special. Prince gave his all on stage. Watching him was both exhausting and mesmerizing, all at once. The crowd was hyped and under his spell the whole time. I went ape-shit when he closed the show with “Purple Rain”. That damn guitar solo… Lawd! It was electrifying!

2. Soundgarden: Reunion Tour at Verizon Theatre. Wednesday October 26, 2011.- I never thought I would be able to see Soundgarden. I became a fanatic in 94, but by 97 the band had broken up, and I was crushed. So, when I found out that my boys were reuniting I was freaking giddy. In high school my walls were covered with Soundgarden posters. I would sing the lyrics to every song when I listened to their albums. Soundgarden was deeply embedded in my system. At the show the band slayed the fans! For over two hours I sang, yelled, and screamed my way through their amazing set. They performed all my beloved jams and everything was right with the world. I should mention that I had a skin graft procedure two weeks before the show. I was rocking a bandaged up thigh and was on pain meds. All was forgotten once I saw Chris, Kim, Ben, and Matt on stage! They made my 2011 extra special.

1. Tool: Lateralus Tour at Reunion Arena. Wednesday October 24, 2001.- Experiencing a Tool show for the first time was a definitive moment of my early twenties. I would go on to see the band four more times, but this first show turned me out! Tool brings something different to the table. There’s a reason why Tool has die-hard, hardcore, willing to sacrifice their cats type of fans. Seeing them live will leave you hypnotized by the music, and the energy. When the lights in the building went out signaling that Tool was about to shut it down, I started screaming. And for well over two hours I was blissed out. There was a dude behind me smoking weed, and I totally had a buzz. Talk about having the time of my life…

Hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane.

Cheers, homies!

Image Credit- playbuzz

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A Few Writing Bits

notebook For the past two weeks my writing has really gotten me thru some rough times. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to keep the pen moving. The encouragement I’ve received from my buds has been such a blessing. A little known fact; sometimes it takes a small village to keep a writer going. Ooh, I wonder if Octavia E. Butler, or Ernest Hemingway got by with a little help from their friends? 🙂 No one is obligated to dig my shit, or pretend that everything I’m writing is pure magic. I have buds who read my work, and always give me great feedback. Their help has been invaluable.

Here’s a little info on what I’ve been doing with my writing life.

Novel: I’ve been loving working on my novel these past two weeks. I haven’t been stressed out at all, which happens quite often with me. My leading lady and leading man- main characters, have become their own individuals, versus being just my creations. They’re starting to shine like the stars they are! I’m blessed that Karrine, and Alex are a part of my life.

Poetry: Things have been lacking in the poetry department. Poetry comes relatively easy for me, but lately I’ve just been focused on other things. I definitely need to get my shit together and work on my poetry.

Short Stories: Last year’s goal was to write a short story each week. I failed, but I’m determined to get back on that horse! I’m trying again, but this time my goal is to write two shorties (what I call short stories) per month. I have two that I’m ecstatic to be starting.

Erotica/Love Scenes: Your gurl has some strange anxiety about writing sex scenes, but I’m determined to shut that ish all the way down… once and for all! My problem is that I tend to overthink writing sex scenes, and they tend to come off cold, and too technical. My plan is to start studying all the literary erotic scenes that make me wish I was in the scene. I’m also going to watch videos on YouTube regarding how to write great scenes. I will be victorious, dang it!

Cheers, homies!

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Thanking My Homies

      I truly have the greatest group of friends. They’ve given me so much love and encouragement. 2016 so far has been challenging, but I’m beyond thankful for their support. And even when they’re dealing with their own bs… they still lift me up, and that’s so amazing to me. I thank God for my buds. I love them very much. May God bless and keep my bossome group of friends. 🙂

The Blues And Ms.Smith

blues1 Depression is a subject that really isn’t discussed openly, and honestly, but I think that it should be. Too many individuals are suffering in silence for fear of ridicule, and judgment. Admitting that I have depression isn’t easy, but as always I’m hoping that this will help someone. This post has been a little on the grueling side, for realz.

I was diagnosed with mild depression- or chronic depression, in January 2016. Honestly, I’ve always known that I suffered with depression. I think it was in middle school when I first began to deal with the blues. Depression feels like being covered in a tar like substance that you can’t get off. Some days it feels like a dark cloud is hovering above me, and it just won’t go away. On my worst days I’m drained in every way possible; physically, emotionally, and mentally. I feel so tired because I’m fighting to stay sane, and to keep it all together. Trust me when I say that the daily fight takes a lot out of me.

My bad days are so fucking brutal and unrelenting.

My good days are really freaking great!

On my good days (the me that everyone sees) I’m positive, hopeful, and optimistic. I’m always thankful for the days when I feel like I can take on the world, and win. Those days are gifts that I cherish with my entire being, especially since I know what the alternative is.

My good days outweigh the bad ones.

Faith gets me through so much. My life would be total madness if God wasn’t in it. This isn’t a theory, it’s a true to fact statement. Whenever I’m close to the edge… He always pulls me back.

And speaking of God, most people believe that Christians don’t get depressed, and should just “pray it away”. That’s total and complete bs. Yes, God is good, but depression is an uncaring bitch. She doesn’t care if you’re a believer. And she damn sure could care less about how many scriptures you can quote. And that’s why it’s vital to seek help.

I’ve decided to go into therapy… and I’m quite happy about my decision. I’ll do whatever I can to be a happier, healthier, more bossome version of myself. I didn’t want to go the anti-depressants route. I already take so many meds for other health issues, so I believe therapy will be the best fit for me.

I’m no longer ashamed of having depression. I’m proud of myself for continuing to fight. I may have depression, but I refuse to let it have me.

Cheers, homies!

 

Top 10 Love Quotes

Valentine’s Day has passed, but love is my thing year round, baby! I’m a lover of quotes and lyrics with romantic meaning. Here are a few that give me that indescribable tingle in certain places… I’m talking about my heart! 😉

10. “Words are powerful things. They can break hearts and make panties wet.” Michael Faudet

9. “My somber heart seeks you always.” Pablo Neruda

8. “It feels good to know you’re mine.” Deftones

7. “I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it- to be fed so much love I couldn’t take anymore. Just once.” Haruki Murakami

6. “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” Zora Neale Hurston

5. “I have been waiting all my life to be with you. My heart slams against my ribs when I think of the slaughtered nights I spent all over the world waiting to feel your touch…” Henry Rollins

4. “In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” Maya Angelou

3. “We love with a love that was more than love.” Edgar Allan Poe

2. “I’m with you. No matter what else you have in your head. I’m with you and I love you.” Ernest Hemingway

1. “Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.” Anais Nin

Wasn’t that shit hot?!?!

Bonus Quotes!!!!

“I love you whether you fall or fail, just as you are.” Beau Taplin

“I woke up absolutely raging with desire for you, my love.” Laurence Olivier

“Your love is my muse. You and I, are my favorite love story.” Mirtha Michelle Castro Marmol

“Tell me when you lie in bed, do you think of something I once said?” Lang Leav

“You can’t quell depression by making love…” Yrsa Daley-Ward

Cheers, homies!

To Be More Like Him

cross My main goal in life is to be more like Jesus. I want to always be kind. I want to always love unconditionally. I want to treat everyone with kindness… even when I don’t feel like doing any of that stuff. Yeah, some may say that’s a cliché, but for me it’s my truth, and the way I want to live my life. For the past few years I’d become disillusioned with religion, and with other Christians. I was just seeing and hearing so much hypocrisy, that it was really turning my stomach. Some Christians are just so hateful, and negative towards anything that doesn’t fit their standards. Did Jesus come back and handpick a group to do his talking? I guess I missed that. And I have to add that the way our LGBTQ brothers, and sisters are treated is disgusting, but I’ll save that rant for another post.

I realized within the last year that my spiritual focus was misplaced. Instead of dwelling on how other Christians behaved, I needed to focus on Jesus. I needed to keep my eyes on the one who was- and is, the foundation of everything. He is the most perfect example on how to be in life. Sometimes I think it’s easy to forget that.

I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m trying to be better each day for Him. I have a long way to go on this spiritual journey; a sista will make a few pit stops now and then. I admit that sometimes I don’t want to try and be like Jesus. Someone royally pissed me off yesterday; their words cut into my soul like you would not believe. And I’m supposed to forgive her, but I don’t feel like it. Of course I will because that’s what I’m supposed to do, but ooh wee. Being like Jesus is difficult, yo!

Jesus is incredibly loving. His love is the basis for everything. He always showed love to others; especially to the sinners that everyone looked down on. He’s the Son of God and yet He was always humble. He served others willingly. He’s kind. Never judgmental. Always forgiving. He was and is all these amazing things, and I’m trying my best to be like him.

Cheers, homies!

 

 

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The BS That Aspiring Writers Deal With

typeish To me, an aspiring writer is someone diligently working on making their dreams come true, no matter what. Whether they want to be a playwright, screenwriter, or published author, an aspiring writer gives their all. They’re simply working on their craft, and are trying to become established. I believe that although writers are born with a gift, it’s important to feed the beast on a daily basis.

Sometimes we up and comers are belittled for putting so much energy into a “hobby”. True, I’m not getting paid for creating worlds that only I inhabit, but I will. Writing is way more than just a hobby for me. I put my heart and soul into this writing thing. I’m not screwing around. I just don’t get why aspiring writers are not always respected. Writing is a better vice than smoking crack, or shooting up heroin. And yet aspiring writers are continuously being shitted on by those closest to them.

I want to let my fellow writers know that they should ignore the bs. The ones disrespecting your talent, and craft today will be the same ones trying to leech off you later. Now, go and write something dope!

Cheers, homies!

 

 

-Image credit belongs to theoldpaintedcottage.com